wilgrace's blog

We filmed it all as we went, and this self-indulgent 20 mins is the shortest I could get it down to.

Knocking out the last of these snippets in Joburg airport, resisting the duty-free vuvuzelas and left-over Brangelina babies. 12 hours and we'll hit London with just 2 surfboards, flip-flop tans and this blog to prove we were ever here. That, and a lifetime of unwelcome pub anecdotes.

The car's not been sold, but it's OK - Simon's selling it and he's got strong heredity credentials. We had an ace last week in/around Pretoria, with one last spell in the bush for old time's sake. 

And with that the shorts - t-shirt - flip-flops uniform was gone, but the year of the southern hemisphere continues as Sydney looks like a Go in October. 

Thanks for listening. I'm out.

Dar es Salaam to Johannesburg via Malawi, Mozambique and Zimbabwe:  3,500km over 6 days, 12 hours a day. What a mission, but we hit Pretoria bang on time, under budget and with nerves and relationship still intact. Medals for all.

But it's amazing to finally stop here at Simon & Helen's gated fortress - sleep properly, eat well, improve hygiene. Fingers crossed for the car sale this week, and then one last holiday before home.

This was the final adventure we needed. It feels like we've closed a chapter, said goodbye to the bakkie and seen Africa one last time - the decision to drive was 100% right. In your face Dar es Salaam.

The car buyer disappeared, pfff, like the guy in Usual Suspects. Suleman, wherever you are, you will always be in my heart as the human embodiment of a huge poo.

We worked Dar as far as it would go and still no joy with the car sale, so on to Mission Cane-It-To-Joburg-In-6-Days. The folks are delighted.

Currently in southern Malawi after 3 long days, with Mozambique, Zimbabwe and South Africa to come. Going strong - it's actually brilliant to be back on the adventure trail.

So the muffins continue, listening to music and nattering and sleeping and driving. Aiming for Pretoria on Sunday, car sale all week, then fly out and in to London on Sunday. See you at the Regent.

The quick buy, smooth drive, zanzibar lifestyle and general buenas ondas of the last 6 months smacked us full in the face for 10 crap days in Dar. 

In fact, that could be the name of a movie:
10 Days in Dar - They thought they could sell their car. Dar thought otherwise.

VAT and duty killed the value of the Hilux, so it was either sell at a chunky loss or drive it back to Jo'burg. After doing the maths - and considering the parental stress - it didn't make sense, so we're now hopefully 2 days from closing a deal.

We got ourselves pretty wound up though, so Laura went shopping at a roadside clothes tree.

The Zanzibar Experience (TM) is coming to an end. ZIFF ended in a blaze of parties and backslapping (the djing went ok), and now people are drifting back to the real world.

So 3 weeks of beaches and admin - car sales, souvenirs, ZIFF handover - and the Africa leg of 2010 will be over. Then a Big September and fresh plans to escape the UK winter. May well be Sydney...

Were we right to leave here? Probably this time, but the lifestyle works for us and I'd imagine the next 10 years together will involve plenty more of the same.

We're neck deep in the Festival right now - day 5 and many of the things that should have been sorted 1 month before are finally getting done.

I'm taking on way too much - anything I see being done crap, I take over. Not the right attitude out here, and guaranteed to burn me out, but the alternative is too painful. I'm doing all the publicity, schedules, website and running projections in the evening.

Amazing experience though, and flashes of fun amidst the stress. If the right person takes over here, we may well be back...

I had a fever, it could have been malaria, Laura freaked out and dragged me to the hospital (twice) and harassed the doctor until he put me on a drip and the nurse threatened to inject me with morphine, and then I went back to bed and got better. And that was one of my weeks in Zanzibar.

The others have been ace.

I can't believe we've been here 3 weeks. Zanzibar has its own island-life timewarp, and we've settled into a nice work/swim/drink/eat routine.

I've been roped in on all the ZIFF design work - banners, posters, t-shirts - my first time on proper print work. If this was London I'd be massively out of my depth. Big fish, little pond.

And then someone played me Nina Simone 'Rich Girl'. Why didn't someone tell me before? Listen to that slap bass!

Zanzibar! Say it like it's an adventurous aftershave and you'll get a sense of the place. We've really struck gold here - the island, the people, the job, the flat - all solid gold.

The beard is gone (the haters had nothing to do with it), we've unpacked for the first time in 3 months, and getting started on our 'job'. Here's the website I built them.

Fair to say the second half of Africa10 is shaping up very, very nicely.

We've hit Dar, with the clock just 200km short of a round, OCD-pleasing 10,000km.

One thing I've realised (bear with me, this'll be short) is where independence fits into our travelling. No guides, cruises, Baz, tours, chained convoys of rip-off targets. Yeah, we missed out on some local transport immersion, but the bakkie meant we did what we wanted when we wanted, and by god did we do it all on time.

Some admin at the Holiday Inn then we step off for Zzzzzzanzibar.

W. Tipping Point - Malcolm Gladwell
God I was boring when I was reading this - he brings out the half-baked pseudo-sociologist in me.

L. Don't let's go to the dogs tonight - Alexandra Fuller
I loved this book. And cried a lot. It was all about a family even more crazy than mine.

W. Disgrace - J.M Coetzee
Laura's favourite, my time-filler.
(Laura says what a dick)

L. Five - Doris Lessing
This is a South African corker. Written 50 odd years ago, it's depressing how much is still the same.

W. Girl with the Dragon Tattoo - Stieg Larson
Out-thrills Dan Brown as a thrilling thriller

L. Red Dust - Gillian Slovo
All about truth and reconciliation. I'm starting to feel a bit worthy.

W. Zanzibar Chest - Aidan Hartley
Amazing life of a death-wish journalist in the right place for all the Wrong Times.

L. Jump - Nadine Gordimer
I can still smell one of the rooms she described.

W. The Other Hand - Chris Cleave
Kinda lightweight beach book. In a death-in-Africa way.

L. Dark Star Safari - Paul Theroux
Just finished this one. PT became my second travelling friend on this trip. The best bit was when our paths crossed as I read his descriptions of places I was in. He was a big old grump at times but I became very fond of him.

W. The brief wondrous life of Oscar Wao - Junot Diaz
Yeah, pretty good.

Another border, another frenzy of pure hectic hassle. A bloke with 'BIG COCK' and a picture of a rooster on his chest took us - involuntarily - under his wing. Only the police have been less helpful than Big Cock.

Tanzania ain't Malawi - it's less easy in every way, but then again Malawi couldn't have been much easier. We're gonna have to pick up Swahili - 'Jambo!' - and Laura should work harder at winning the locals over. I will continue to hide behind shades.

Two muffins heading towards Dar es Salaam on the final 800km stretch of tar. Loads more to come, but it feels like we're closing this chapter.

We've been warming our hearts in Malawi, where my ma has played tour guide and shown us how to Do Africa properly - city, safari, beach, all in style. She's now gone, so it's back to the baked beans.

Laura may have found her meringue, and I may take a leaf out of the presidents book for an all-white wedding. We need to be on brand.

Speaking of brand, the Obama campaign team spotted a niche with this official strawberry bubblegum. If only Brown had launched his own branded Humbugs we wouldn't now be eating leftover Quality Streets.

Our 2 month lucky streak ended with a 3 way smear of misfortune 2 weeks ago.

1. The weather turned crap, washing out Moz highlights Bazaruto and Gorongosa.
2. Power lines are stolen in the northern province, knocking out banks, internet and phone lines leaving us cashless.
3. More bakkie woes as the car shows its 360,000km and goes in for a hefty service.

However, we made it across into Malawi, "warm heart of Africa" (hug a local) and the tide has turned - hot, ATMed and souped up. They also reckon we can sell the bakkie in Tanzania no worries, meaning the 10,000km roundtrip back to SA may not be needed.

My mum is here, I'm outnumbered in the car, I've got a bit of man-cold, so I'm literally taking the backseat and lobbying for Lake pace.

The bakkie is starting to feel the strain - stinky clutch, wonky wheels. That's about as technical as we could get, so were hoping these guys might do better. The jokers, rather than fixing the car, created whole new issues and tried to charge us £150 for the pleasure - silly money out here. With no idea what's what under the bonnet, it's kinda hard to find the right price for the right problem, so it's no surprise they're spotting the amateurs. We're back on the road but treating her more kindly - now that we're way up in the hills there's a long long way to the nearest proper garage. After a glorious week of beach/surf/down time, the weather has turned and things are more 'Overland'. Drive and Camp and Eat and Drive.

As a break from the break, we managed to get paid to train Maputans in… stuff. Three days at the Moz equivalent of BBC, complete with black Alan Yentob, three at a young TV upstart with the sweetest tasting internet connection.

Aside from the indignity of setting our alarm, doing the working man's thing in a 3rd world country has been cool - commuting, lunching, teaching in spanish to baffled portugese-speakers. Quite how much knowledge we transferred is debatable, but as a cultural exchange I have left them my iTunes library. That's got to be worth our fees alone.

Complete internet darkness for a while now as we hit the road/coast/surf and head Malawi-way.

North, always north. We took the 4x4 route across the border, meaning a switch from tar to sand the minute we bribed the last official. The tyres were deflated, second gearstick guessed at and the beast was finally given a proper workout - sand and rock and bonnet-deep water of doom.

The first spot of tourist camping was lame, so we pushed on without realising how dangerously remote this country gets so close to the capital. First amateur mistake - we ran out of petrol and water and most food, but somehow blagged all three together for a camping week of surfing (new boards!), baked beans and ionised well water. Exactly the adventure we had in mind.

As we come to leave South Africa, we've been thinking a bit about this country, its recent history, its engrained attitudes.

It's fair to say this place isn't in a great way, and there's a lot of pessimism about the future. No-one thought the transition would be quick or easy, but a sadly familiar african politic is unravelling Mandela's hard work.

Our experience has been predominantly and unnervingly white - volunteers, hosts, contacts, friends - all great. We finally got a taste of rural black life up near Durban, but not enough to hear the other side of the SA story.

As a result, some opinions have been hard on our delicate western ears, and some conversations awkward to navigate. We've generally just listened and learnt a lot, not necessarily about how things are but about how things are perceived to be.

UPDATE - my god this is earnest, it sounds like im discovering myself out here. Less rhetorical posturing to come

Right, seeing as we're doing a bit of catching up here, hows about some highlights:
- Buying a beast of a Bakkie in 4 days, and catching Harri in Hogsback on the 5th
- Braai (BBQ) at a weeklong freebie in Wilderness - maximising the £50-a-day-including-petrol budget
- Camping at Bulungula, finally using the AllofUs tent and gear
- Driving driving driving

Ok, so it looks like we've succumbed to the Travel Blog, scourge of the working man's inbox.

For anyone who's blanked us recently, Laura and I have quit the jobs, leased the flat and made it to South Africa, where we've bought a Hilux bakkie and are overlanding through Mozambique, Malawi and Tanzania until landing in Zanzibar around June to work at a film festival.

This is partly for us, partly for the public and partly a way to keep my typing fingers nimble.